i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
