Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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