You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
