Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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