But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
sex in a hospital.. check
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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