I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
