Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
