at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
