u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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