I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
