I wanna bring you to show and tell
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
