it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
