two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
