Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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