I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
