see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
