now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
