We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
