Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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