i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
