whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Everyone says I win the strip club
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize