Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
