Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
