I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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