just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
