Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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