Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
false alarm, still single
Randomize
