Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
