i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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