I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
