Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
