I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
