so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
