You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
