Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
