He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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