i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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