well most of my day revolves around power hour
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
