i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
