Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
