Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
