take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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