I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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