if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
