my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
