he puts the penis in happiness.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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