Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i think i have two assholes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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