Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
3pm strippers are depressing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
