i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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