So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Say something about gay babies.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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