if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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