Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
it's like iHOP with fire
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
