there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
