i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
