Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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