Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
