Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he shaved USA in his pubs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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