Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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