My brain says no but my pants say off.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
