saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
