you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
