dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
