He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
