Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
