How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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