there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
