She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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