Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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