Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
