You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
