I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
