So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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