Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
