i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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